My Blog, My Frienemy

When I started this blog, I was feeling a little alone in Brazil. Although I had never met any of you expats, I felt like I was part of a community where I could read and share stories, and feel a little bit like I had friends again. The kind that you tell about your day and your obnoxious coworker or crazy landlord, making those terrible moments just a little more bearable.

Now that I'm not in Brazil, I'm having a little bit of a love-hate relationship with my blog. Part of me so desperately wants to log on and read about the country and city that I miss so much, and reminisce, but it sort of just makes me sad.

I found out a couple days ago that I won't be able to get a visa in February. I tried and tried (and tried) for a couple months to get ahold of UFRJ, and when I finally got some lady on the phone, she told me that the class was full and I should have contacted her in November. Unfortunately the contact number and email I had been using in November (the ones provided on the contacts page of their website) are out of service, and no one responds.

I haven't let it sink in enough to start focusing on plan B (which I don't have by the way). I might be looking at a looooooooooooong 5 more months of saudades.

Small Town

When people ask how small my small town is, I generally throw out this anecdote:

My brother was on the front page of the paper and received free diapers for a year for being the first baby born in Ojai in 1987! His birthday is January 4th...

That being said, it's common knowledge amongst the town-folk that I spent some time in Brazil (or was it Argentina, Ecuador, Belize...Ethiopia?). While having a conversation with the dentist a while back (you know, when they shove their fist down your throat mouth and then ask what you've been up to. "uahh hhguu fhafndk " "oh yes, interesting!"), my dentist asked me to prove my Spanish fluency. I replied with the autopilot response: "oh, Brazilians actually speak Portuguese".

I then received the most unique linguistics lesson of my life on how Portuguese is actually a dialect of Spanish like European Spanish vs. Mexican Spanish...oohhhh so like, Portuguese = Brazilian Spanish. Anyhoo, I think dentists just like to talk out their ass because they know you can't respond.

All of this talking about Brazil is giving me some MAJOR saudades. Add to that the fact that I'm also having some MAJOR visa issues that do not look like they will be clearing up any time soon, and I'm getting ready to break my arms and legs so I can fit in a priority shipment box...will someone please pick me up at the post office?

If anyone else out there has saudades that "need to be killed", (or you just want to see BEAUTIFUL VIDEO) that my friend Bruno Villela made, check this out: www.vimeo.com/17982994

Até logo, Brasil!

Ahhhhh, so I have officially ignored my blog for about a week. It was 50% because I wanted to spend every last second with my Namo before being shipped off to Gringolândia, and 50% because I'm not sure what direction to take my Brazil blog in while I'm living in California.

Anyhoo, a week of adventure (read: going to the mall and watching movies) means a week's worth of stories. And living at my parents' house for the first time in 4 years, and no Namo to distract me, means I will have lots of blogging time. Stay tuned, it's sure to be melodramatic because i'm already DROWING in saudades and I haven't even made it to the airport.

Wish me luck, I hate flying like I hate sharks.