Gentileza Gera Gentileza

For all of the gripe Rio gets about violence and pick-pocketing, I think its important that the world out there hears about how kind Cariocas are and how they are some of the most warm-hearted people I've had the pleasure of meeting.


The other day I broke open the piggy bank to purchase some much needed medicine. After stopping by the drogaria, I made my way to Mundial. If you have ever been to Mundial on a weekend, you know that it is a special kind of torture.

I have a theory about the "express line". DON'T USE IT! Usually it's more crowded than the normal line, and I think its the dunce corner for cashiers being punished. However, on this special day some snotty lady decided my 15 items or less EXCLUDED me from the normal line...

Not only was I in the back of the line, but I had the superb luck of getting a "caixa fechada" plaque placed on my cart. To any normal personal this reads "Line Closed-Back off"...but to the hoards of people who kept arriving behind me in line it meant "Please Cut in Front of Me to Cheat the System".

Needless to say, the day started a little lousy, but I went about my day running errands and stayed chipper. When I got home I realized that my medicine was missing. After a few exasperated minutes of crying by myself, I decided to stop feeling bad for myself, and venture back into the gloomy Rio rain to find my missing meds.

I retraced my steps and searched all through Mundial again. Finally I decided to go back to the drug store and see if they would sympathize and give me some more meds for free (I was desperate).

It turns out someone found my medicine on the ground in Mundial and took the time to see what pharmacy it was from. They walked with all of their groceries, through the rain (for 5 miles in 10 feet of snow blah blah blah) to return the medicine to the pharmacy and SAVE MY LIFE! Not literally…but close to it.

I don’t know many people would take the time to do something this selfless, but its not the first time something like this has happened to me in Rio. Thank you nameless Carioca who took 10 minutes out of your day to greatly improve mine!!! : )

Kindness Generates Kindness, people! Now I have to find something nice to do. Any ideas?

Carioca ™

How to become a true Carioca Woman:

1. Permanent Tan lines – teachers have em, doctors have em, newscasters have em, infants have em, hell…even porn stars have em!

2. Heals – a pair for work, a pair for the movie theater, a pair for the night clubs, a pair for the grocery store, and a pair for your dear old 90 year old grandma with a broken hip.

3. Gastro-Gluteus Relocation Surgery – Consult with your doctor about this controversial new surgery where you can get your stomach surgically relocated to your ass. The more beans, salgados, pastels, coxinhas, pão de queijo, and esfihas you eat, the better! It’s drastic but there is no other way.

4. Learn Your Diminutives because everything is legalzinho, fofinho, pequenininho, engraçadinho and rapidinho.

5. Scar Yourself! No matter how convincingly you apply steps 1-4, you will never pass the Carioca da Gema test without full commitment to step 5. That little crater scar on the fleshy part of the upper arm is like the government’s way of keeping track of the natural born citizens. Even if you marry in, you will never be a true Carioca without the crater scar. Bring out the branding iron!

Mini Bombing

The title is a little overdramatic. It probably technically couldn't even be called a bombing because it wasn't a bomb, it was a firework, and nothing got blown up, it was just loud. Whatever, gunshots, fireworks, bombs all sound the same and are scary as hell.

Me and my Namo (Namo = Namorado...yeah, I made that one up myself) went to our favorite little neighborhood chopp place this past weekend. It apparently was voted the best chopp in Copa the past 8 years in a row. I don't really get how one chopp can be better than another chopp...i was told it had something to do with the amount of foam on top.

We were waiting for a table for so long that we decided to bail and cross the street to a different place. When attempting to leave, the waiter came over and assured us a table would be cleared soon, so we decided to wait. Just then, some babaca decided to chuck a bomb thingy out his window in the neighboring apartment, at the crowd up people sitting outside drinking. Everyone at the boteco screamed and jumped up. It was terrifying!!!

The scariest part is not only did he almost hit a dog, but it was right where my Namo and I had been standing a minute or too before. This isn't the first time this has happened. We once thought there was a fire in our apartment building (which is a frightening thing living on the 12th floor) because some crazy-pants tossed a firework into the common area below the building and filled the space with thick smoke.

What was really special about this event though, and something i have actually never really seen happen here, was everybody's response. A passerby had seen the guy who threw it (on the 2nd floor) and pointed him out, people banned together and started calling the police...now whether or not the police actually showed up is another story, but it was nice to see people react to a situation like this. I'm sick of watching people cut in line at the grocery store, blow snot rockets on the ground in front of where you're walking, and be outright rude and obnoxious without getting a good Carioca Wording!

Quick side-note about the picture: Durring WWII Roosevelt approved a military plan to attach small bombs to bats. The bats would be dropped from an airplane over Japan and would fly to various buildings to roost. At any given time, someone would push a detonator switch and all the suicide bats would explode, causing mass fires across the country. After spending a measly 2 million (no biggie) developing the plan and training these poor captured bats...they decided to just go ahead with the atomic bomb.